One of the first questions I ask when I interview with families is what values they treasure the most and would like to instill in their child(ren). It not only helps me to get to know them as individuals, but helps me to reinforce common values that I grew up with and appreciate. Of the all of the qualities that parents mention, the most common and sought after are kindness and honesty. We live in a world where kindness, respect, and appreciation for others is perceived as weakness and honesty is lacking. If adults haven’t figured out how to embody those qualities, you’d wonder how you could instill those traits in an child who doesn’t have a full understanding of what the words even mean. Here are a few ways that I try to encourage kindness and honesty when working with children…
Good Morning! Good Afternoon! Good Evening!
The minute we walk into a room and choose to interact with someone, we’re demanding that we be acknowledged. Out of respect for those we meet and to acknowledge their presence, we say Good Morning, Good Afternoon, or Good Evening regardless of how our day has gone because we’re thinking about the other person and wishing them well.
Regardless of who we meet, whenever we walk into a room and interact with someone I greet them appropriately and expect my charge to do the same if they can form the words. It teaches respect for others.
Excuse / Pardon Me
When someone is speaking, cutting across their thought to get your point across is rude. Asking for an excuse and waiting patiently is the only way a child is going to be acknowledged if I’m in the midst of a conversation. Granted children get excited when they need something or want to share their latest find, but consistently and firmly reminding them to ask for a pardon reinforces respect for others and teaches patience.
Thank You
Thank you is one of the most frequently forgotten phrases ever. My husband and I were at a restaurant recently, and I couldn’t keep count of the number of people who received their meals and said … nothing. Apparently, many associate their presence with their thankfulness – as in ‘I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t appreciate or like this’.
Whenever we meet someone who has done something for us, whether it is to the doorman who has just helped us outside, the baker who handed us the cookie and coffee, the dentist for filling our teeth, or the music class instructor for having us, we say thank you! A service, regardless of whether its paid for or not, is happily done when appreciation is shown. Teach this to children by having them write a thank you card to a teacher, doctor, or friend and say or sign the words on a regular basis when appropriate.
Honesty and Kindness
If there is one thing that parents want from their children it is an open, honest relationship. It starts from a young age and allows your child to feel comfortable enough to tell you that they’ve made a mistake and accept counsel that, while firm, is loving and shows concern. Teach your children to treat others with kindness, share, and give back to others. Honesty is an interesting subject to teach because it not only involves right from wrong, but there are strong emotions attached to dishonest people. Teaching children the hurt behind dishonest actions can sometimes be more effective than scolding them. Let them feel how good it is to share and give back to their communities, friends, or siblings.
Your child’s immediate “family”, whoever primarily cares for them, needs to demonstrate these qualities on a daily basis. Children, regardless of their age, are like sponges soaking up everything they see, hear and feel. Try your best to make those experiences positive ones and turn negatives into constructive life lessons. The more they see you do these things, the more likely they will too!
The values we impart to our children make a distinct mark on our futures.
What are values are dearest to you?
I’d love to hear about them in the comments below!
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